I’m tired of myself. At this time of year, when I’m usually so disgustingly perky and optimistic, I’m lethargic and cynical. It’s as if someone pulled out my spark plug.
I feel like a mule plowing the same row year after year. My goals are always the same. Finish book. Get agent. Be healthier. Be kinder. Keep a cleaner home. Ugh.
I’m exhausted with these same goals, but I don’t see one that I wish to abandon. Shall I allow myself to be an unhealthy slob eating lime/red pepper potato chips (my new Italian addiction) and binge watching Ozark? Ok, that does sound a little good, but I know I’d feel guilty.
So, for 2019, I have the same list of goals but a new way to approach them. Actually, I have combined them into one goal: Just show up.
The showing up is the goal.
Dan Blank pointed out to me that for many people who are getting fit, the goal is no more than to show up at the gym. And that, over time, gets the job done.
But what exactly does it mean to show up? I think it’s simply to keep the goal in mind and do something toward it. Then, celebrate that you did something. Which is always better than being overwhelmed and then doing nothing because you can’t do it all perfectly.
Here’s my new approach for 2019.
I took a medium notebook with a fun cover. I listed my 2019 goals on the first page.
My Goal Notebook celebrates my love of history.
Then I divided the notebook into twelve sections, one for each month. I looked at my yearly goals and then set a January goal for each. I listed these on the first page of the January section. I deliberately kept these pretty easy for January.
The March page will list goals for March that are small bites of the yearly goals. I won’t fill this in until the end of February.
Then I divided the January section into smaller sections, one for each goal. I titled each subsection with that monthly goal. I will use that space to note where I showed up and did something toward the goal—even though I didn’t necessarily achieve the entire thing.
The number of pages in my notebook dictated that each subsection took up 1/3 page. Room for notes on what I accomplish on that goal when I show up.
Example:
Yearly Goal—Be Healthier
January Goals: Buy air cleaner, take vitamins every day, cut coffee down to one cup daily.
In that goal’s section, I can note that I bought herbal tea and substituted it for my many cups of coffee. Or I can make a check mark when I take my vitamins.
In February, I might have new health goals—take Prose for a walk five days a week or whatever.
But the goal is not the goal (ha!). The goal is to have something written in that box that proves I showed up.
Another of my goals is to find an agent for my novel. I have to tell you that the submission process crushes my soul. You feel like the beggar standing at the bakery shop window.
Yearly Goal: Find agent
January Goal: Query 30 agents
Maybe I won’t make 30. But I want to have something to write in that section, so I will show up and query some.
I see at least three advantages to this system.
- I cannot work on every goal every day. I have 12 goals. In the past, I would feel frustrated and guilty through January and then the goals would fall off my radar because I wasn’t doing them. This notebook will keep all those goals in front of me without making me feel pressure to work on every one every day.
- I will celebrate my successes. By writing down what I DID instead of focusing on what I need to do, I will remind myself that I am not solely eating lime/red pepper potato chips. I am working toward my worthy goals even if my steps are slow and faltering.
- It will make better use of small pieces of time, which I often waste. If I’m supposed to meet someone in an hour, I may just diddle until then. But with my goals in front of me, I can show up and review my Italian lesson or dust the bedroom. And I get to write those things down in my notebook to celebrate that I showed up.
And that was the goal.
Not all my goals are arduous. I have a goal to enjoy Italy. Therefore, my goal for January is to rent a car for a day trip and make sure I connect with my friends in Florence.
I have a goal to extend small kindnesses. The goal is just to be open to the opportunities. When I see one and respond to it, I get to write it down. Goal met. Yay!
Life should be a mosaic of tiny celebrations, not a monster to-do list.
Surveys show that most people who set goals on New Year’s do not keep them. Surveys also show that people who set goals accomplish more than people who never do. There’s something about the goal-setter’s approach to life that makes him more successful, even if he can’t live up to his New Year’s resolutions.
What do we really want for our New Year?
To do satisfying creative work, to find success as we measure it, to live a life that balances joy with duty and peace with productivity. We want true connection with others. We want to feel that each day has meaning. I wish all these things for each of you.
The greatest act of creation is to fashion a beautiful life. I’m hoping my new approach to goals will help me do that.
Do you set goals or flee them? Are you excited about the New Year or feeling a little blah? Maybe changing your goal to the simple Just Show Up will reboot your resolve as it has mine.
Finding our stories . . . and ourselves.
All my love,
Alison